Grief

GRIEF

"A great soul serves everyone all the time. A great soul never dies. It brings us together again and again."- Maya Angelou

I have always seen myself writing about things that are motivating or uplifting. I never thought of writing about "grief/mourning". But year 2020 is different. I feel as a human race we have lost so many lives, so sudden and in a tragic way that we are all trying to hang on to something and not to sink in the sadness. At a personal and professional level I have experienced so much grief that until I write about it, I am not able to move on to write any other topic. You may have noticed that I haven’t written since 6/2020.

So this is my own selfish reason to write about "grief".

What is normal grief?

There are 6 stages of normal grief.
-Denial
-Anger
-Bargain
-Depression
-Acceptance 

In a “normal” life when someone dies of an old age, people go through those stages and at some point accept it, go through rituals to heal and can go with their life. Again it depends on several factor how long it takes for people to grieve.
When someone dies tragically and at a young age, it takes time to heal for the survivors or sometimes it never gives them a closure they need to move on with their life. In those situations, people suffer from depression or sometimes post traumatic stress disorder.

 Is grief about only loosing your loved ones or you can grieve for someone you never met?

We have witnessed loss of several human lives this year who were either celebrities, sports personnel or a total stranger. But some how it feels like the whole world has been grieving. Is it the year of pandemic that we are so sensitive and emotional about every negative thing in life or our life is so stagnated that nothing is helping us to move on with those loss? Is it the media?

 I don't know what it is but it is different.

This year, it feels like never ending of loss of lives as one bad news after another one and feels like it never gives you even a break to grieve and come back to so called "norm". It says time can heal any wound but what we are going through this year, I am not sure if the time is helping. At the same time, death due to COVID is very hard to cope, when one day you see your loved one going to the hospital alone and chances are he/she will never come out. At the same time, the person who is dying, will have no one at the bedside to give comfort. After death, people don’t get the body for rituals. It is like someone is wiped off the board in a second and you have to accept the reality of that person doesn’t exist in your life.

Why are we grieving as a group?

• Technology has made us closer to each other but it also has disadvantage of getting closer to each other's negative emotions.
•  If someone died thousand miles away from you and if you were never have to know much what happened to that person or not having to get exposed to news about that person, It would be easy to move on. Now every day you see some kind of news related to accidental death, seeing bodies of people dying from Corona or getting killed violently on the street or dying young due to unnatural reasons. Unfortunately, technology has allowed us to witness it happening live and that can be very traumatic to go through again and again. Media is also not helping by keep bringing same images, news about it. I do believe people may be having chronic post traumatic stress disorder like symptoms due to constant exposure to those negative news, images. In general this is the worst year for mental health in our time.  We all are feeling like a close family even if you don't know that person well in real life. 
• I also believe that laughing is contagious and same way sadness/ grieving is contagious and you can't stay way from it. Especially when you don't find a closure for the person's death. It will keep that wound open and may take a long time to heal. 
• COVID pandemic has lost thousands of lives and no hope yet to protect ourselves. People who are loosing their loved once have no opportunity to see them last time or give them comfort. There is no closure on death. Someone who has gone to the hospital and you may not see them again and that feeling of sudden loss can create emotional turmoil. Some people can't even do rituals after death due to corona so there is no religious or spiritual healing. People can't go to their religious places to even pray and sometimes that is the only way they can comfort themselves.

• I also wonder about those souls who have lost their lives this year, are they going to be at peace? when they don't have their loved one at their bedside to comfort them? How hard it can be to die alone despite having all medical facilities around you but no one can even hold your hand? 

• There is no alone time to mourn as the news channels/social media won't let you forget. There is no in person comfort from the family due to the social isolation.
• Are there any new channels with positive, hopeful news about life?

• Why people are so bitter? Everywhere you see people bringing negativity towards each other, not showing respect for the people who are gone.

How can we grieve in current time?

• Turn of the TV/social media/ YouTube channels wherever you see negative news.

• Surround yourself with positive memories of the loved ones or the people who are gone.

• Focus on positive things happening around you.

• Nature can help to heal.

• Be hopeful.

• Focus on spiritual/religious belief.

• Read good books.

In Loving memory of SSR (Sushant Singh Rajput) 💓

                                                 Picture of the week 

                                                 Quotes of the week

" Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all."

Laura Ingles Wilder

"There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart."

Mahatma Gandhi